Fed up

I'm beyond done with the negative responses to Barack Obama's speech. Have you read the Times??

This is what I see as the problem: so many want to proclaim there is no problem.

Was his pastor preaching some hate? Yes. Do a lot of "religious" people do the same? Yes. As many have said, if all of us were to leave a church that espoused a view that was clearly intolerant of a group of people - there'd be many, many empty churches. Churches are run by people. People are fallible. People are not God. God does not equal the church. Also, I can't beleive that now so many white people are running around thinking all black churchgoers hate them because of an AIDS theory. Are you kidding me?!

And tell me why is there the automatic response from some white folks that we're all just 'complaining', we all need to 'get over it' and 'let it go'. I'll tell you when I'll let it go. I'll let it go when I can go into the library across the street and bitchy white woman doesn't audibly sigh and then roll her eyes when I can't produce $3 to pay my fine (who carries cash anymore?!). I'll let it go when I'm not gawked at while walking with my white husband. I'll let it go when I don't have to work in a place where my boss exclaims with shock when learning one of our contracted therapists is black. I'll let it all go when I can stop hearing, "I'm not racist but..."

Until then I guess those people will just have to keep seeing me as an angry black woman.

bad ass kids

life is good. i am currently spending an unplanned night at my mother's home. she campaigned hard for us to stay- buying us turkey breast, brownie bites- you know the good stuff in life. we obliged. it's actually been pretty cool. my niece had a fit and was forced to apologize to us for crying and having a fit. i was proud of my mom for making her apologize. my mom has spoiled her rotten to the point where she thinks she's above manners. oh hell naw.

moving on, jc was hit while teaching. i mean, what the hell?! what do we have to do to get children to understand consequences of behavior? this particular child has already harmed several people in the school, physically and emotionally, including another teacher. i was happy jc pressed charges. hopefully, this will get him onto the course he needs for help. sadly, i know that attention to your problems come far more when you're in the justice system, particularly youth. here's hoping.

my sister called and let me know she's giving her crappy husband a second chance. you know, it's none of my business. she asked for my opinion though, practically asked me to tell how awful a husband jc is, so i told her he's not and that we are here if she needs to rebuild again. it's all i could really say.

kids.
no thank you.

Bizarro

The phone on my desk rang. It was my coworker MG. She asks, "So what's up?" I answer, "I don't know where I just was"  She says, "Huh?" I say, "Just now, before you called, I think I transported to another plane because I can't remember the last ten minutes".

This is my problem people. Too *little* to do. I think I'll stop complaining and just enjoy it.




 

when it's right, it's right

I emailed my old supervisor today to inform her that someone from the big, bad licensing board will be contacting her about my work. I heavily intimated she should mention how I walked on water. Offhandedly I also mentioned that we'd be moving back to Portland. I kid you not when I tell you she offered me a job. She's started a new program and it needs a manager. Oh man, Hannibal and I love it, LOVE IT, when a plan comes together.


 

what's that smell?

the drama in my life has all abated. this is good for me considering none of it was really mine. if you believe in prayer, juju or whatnot send some out in the world. this place is nutty.

good thing: we're heading to new york. can't wait to email folks and set up coffee and dinner and movie dates. yay!

i don't know why but i've been indulging, though i'm not sure that is the correct word, in an extremely guilty pleasure. tabloid websites. i don't know what it is. i can't stop lately. i'll be sitting at work, wiling the hours away looking at perez hilton or x17. i think it's the devil.


my co-worker (oh she of cat lovin') continues to scare me. i just heard her on the phone, "Oh, I'm ok! I'm going on another trip. That's what people who have no life do..they go on trips...people like me!"  the exclamation points are not exaggerated.

so i'm down 15.5 pounds. finally. after two and half months of ass busting elliptical burning cardio - i've dropped a size. woo hoo. the challenge is on to get back to grad school weight. i hate to even think of typing how much that will be. i'm more proud that i'm managing to do this in atlanta. home of the fatty, fried, dipped, buttered and creamed EVERYTHING. well, mostly.

back to work. i have an exciting night of babysitting ahead of me. i have been missing my niece lately. i miss the baby nieces too. one was just in the hospital for some rare kind of staph infection. poor little sweetheart! she's fine though and hopefully my sister's brood will move their asses out of alaska and back to the mainland.

that is all.

Breathe again

Well, now I feel much better. Most dramas have been pushed back to their scary corners and I am breathing more easily. JC teases me about counting months together- I don't care. Today marks the last month I can do so. We've been hitched for 11 months. It sounds counterintuitive to me to say it's FAR better today than 11 months ago. JC says that's what he always figured would happen. He has buckets more faith than I do.

I'm waiting for one grad school supervisor to send in a form and then I can FINALLY send in my license application. Of everyone I sent rec forms to she's the last one I thought would take forever. Go figure.

I am playing endless amounts of Scrabulous with JC. It became our habit during the writer's strike. So now, after dinner, we sit, he with his black laptop and I with my Mac and play the game on Facebook. We're tied for wins. I say it's only because he uses the word lookup function FAR too often.

I wonder if buying a house in Portland is going to be feasible. Everything anywhere west of 82nd is far and above our price range. North of Powell, East of 15th, all too much. We've limited our search to townhomes/condos at this point. We'll see. Again, PDXers please keep a look out for anything cute for us :)

Word to your moms.

CF

Things surrounding me have mostly been fucked up, to be perfectly honest.

I'm still reeling from my friend's impromptu and seemingly baseless leaving of her husband.

My nieces have been hospitalized all week.

My sister is having some pretty severe untreated PTSD issues.

My great aunt and uncle were missing for one day-- they've been found, thank God.

Myself? I'm fine. I continue to sweat, sleep, eat and overthink our impending move. Mostly, I just want to be there already.

My sister said, "Why? I mean..you just got here?" I said, "Why not? I know I don't like it."

I am pretty sick of people's assumptions of how "LIFE SHOULD BE LIVED" lately. I include myself.



Well, now I feel better.

It's a date

Oh the double meanings. A date?

Well, for one, I've finally made it back to LJ. I had an episode there in the last three weeks. It happens. I know now, after 20 years of this, what to do. It means toning down and not forcing myself into things that aren't comfortable. On the other hand, I stay secluded and that's not really good. But, I do what I can to get by.

So, for two (yeah, it's bad English), JC and I determined our eta for Portland. We're both relieved and thrilled to be heading back 'home'. Though it's definitely got it's minuses for the both of us- the plusses are over and above the little good we could say for the rest of the country we've lived in. We're taking off mid-June.

Thirdly, I'm off tonight for my first meal in a restaurant for which I had to make reservations. Actually, it's a first for the both of us. So sad. But better late than never. It's JC's birthday this weekend and I'm treating him to a chill, though I hope special, birthday weekend. I've planned a 'day in' a 'day out' and just a day to chill. Complete with movies, hikes and massage. What more could he want?

Cheers!