so j and i had "the talk". i spoke my truth about what he had said to me. the crux of the discussion being that i felt he was placing me in the same category as "sinful things". another point i wanted to make clear was that i do not consider myself or showing affection to myself "sinful" - in fact, i don't believe in sin in the christian sense at all. so, i said all of this and he heard me and then respectfully told me that that was not at all what he was trying to say. he said a lot of other things that were pointed and respectful. it was a good discussion. we did not break up. we decided to give it a go and at a slower-emotional-pace. i don't know really how to write that. we did agree there neither of us could make a guarantee to the other about what we would feel in the future.
i am a little dazed still. i also realize that i'm PMSing pretty badly right now so i want to try and use the logical side of me a little more. logically speaking, i KNOW that i enjoy every minute i ever spend talking to or hanging out with him. i KNOW he fits all criteria i ever came up with for 'my ideal'. and i KNOW it feels right. but there's that 'f' word. feelings, fuck.
i'm exhausted now.
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