well, ladies and germs, it's done. i have secured my first apartment. i can't believe it. i'll be living way far east in north east. the location is not optimal but the place is amazing! i managed to secure a 2 bed/2 bath with a washer and dryer and a dishwasher and a patio and a storage room (as if i have anything to store!) all for a very reasonable price.
another reason i took this is because the guy and i had a pretty serious talk about the future...again. i was more open to what he saying. the truth is that commitment scares me. it was very hard for me to accept that someone may actually want to spend the rest of their life with me...that i was deserving of such a commitment eluded me. so while it no longer eludes, that doesn't mean i'm not still a little weirded out by the thought. but i listened and as corny as this sounds i really listened with my heart and i heard him. i heard his commitment and that was truly moving. the weirdest part is that i believed him. i completely believe him. this is so bizarre. i'm going to quit talking now.
shout out to my friends: the convo with the guy made me realize i don't really express enough how important you all are to me. each and every person has influenced me in some way, some good way. thank you all. it also amazes me how kind others are to me when i feel i don't give nearly as much. thank you all. you're amazing people.
enough with the sap. i'm watching '16 blocks'. man, that mos def is hot. but, er, um, i love my man. *grin.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
'i love you'
tonight was the first time josh ever said that to me without me saying it first.
i love him so much i think my heart may explode sometimes. it's crazy.
i love him so much i think my heart may explode sometimes. it's crazy.
finalfuckingly
Update, update. Hmmm…what do I have to update? I am not entirely sure. I received a mysterious comment saying I needed to quit having fun and update my livejournal. Ok, ok.
I’ve seen a few movies in the last month; not nearly at the rate I used to but I suppose being in a relationship does take away all the free movie-watching time. Sigh. I really can’t complain; the time has been taken up with other things like kissing. Lots and lots of kissing. But enough about that part of me.
The biggest thing I suppose I’ve done was be the maid of honor in my oldest friend’s wedding. That was trippy! We’ve been friends since we were twelve and I don’t mind telling you – I doubt I’ll ever be in anyone else’s wedding but my own (!). The week of the wedding was an interesting one, frought with all the emotion you hear about that comes with wedding planning: angst, frustration, sweat (literally!), joy, laughter, tears (of both sadness and happiness), grief, etc.
I first got to NC on 5/31. Her mom put all of us up in the nice, no NICE, lake house on Lake Lure. Those who don’t know it – it’s near the famous Chimney Rock, NC. If you don’t know Chimney Rock then how about this: it’s about 45 minutes west of Asheville, NC. If you don’t know Asheville, well, then I just feel sorry for you. Moving on…I had a pretty good time there! I ate way too healthily to be on vacation as the groom to be and his brother were master grillers and they like veggies, unlike myself. The groom’s parents came with his brother all the way from Japan. I liked his mom a lot! She didn’t speak much English but she really communicated, out of everyone, in my opinion, the true essence of preparing for a marriage. She was very helpful doing any and everything to help out. She was always smiling and laughing. She was just the best! The father was a little grumpy but still nice. The brother was really cute and nerdy in a Japanese way. I don’t know if that translates to anyone but me but…that’s my opinion. So while there I also took my first turn at kayaking. I loved it! Honestly, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to fit into the boat. I’ve got body issues, no doubt. Anyway, I hope that I get to do that again cuz it was fuuuun! Otherwise, I got to swim in a lake, something I hadn’t done in years. Pretty much, that was it. Calm the bride-to-be, you know? The usual.
We stayed there until 6/2 and then we moved into a Bed and Breakfast in Tryon, NC which wasn’t very far from the original place. Well, this is where my misadventures began. The first on the agenda was to get the pedicures. The bride’s mother is a great woman, truly, she’s very nice and generous. However, were I to give her a diagnosis (as I am wont to do) I would definitely say generalized anxiety disorder and maybe a bit of intermittent explosive disorder. Yep. So I was organized maid of honor and made reservations at a place. Ok, first, I live in Oregon – I know jack shit about the facilities in Tryon, NC. So, it’s a small town. Small town. There’s one person who can do pedicures. It’s $40/person (smalllllll town!) and it’s my treat for me, the mother, the bride to be. Well, of course, we got lost on the way there. We find it and the pedicurist is freaking out because she has a hair appointment coming in an hour and a half. The situation only got uglier. The mom decided not to. Then she decided she would. Then she decided she wouldn’t right then but she’d come back. Whatever. It was the WORST pedicure I’ve ever had. Horrible! We just left. Oh, and the mom never got hers. Whatever.
Meanwhile, back at ‘God if he ever asks me to marry him I will elope because I’ll never go through this myself’ wedding prep. at the Inn – room assignments are given. Luckily, my sister came and was my rock for the next 18 hours (she only stayed that long because she could not tolerate the mother) and we were put in a cottage with the bride to be. It was gorgeous and I loved it. I shared a bed with the bride to be and got my hair done by my sister.
The day of had to have been one of the most nerve wracking days of my life. I had prepared a list of what to do and who was doing it. I was in charge. Did I mention that I know full well that I am NOT a leader? I am not ashamed of this. I prefer being given tasks and doing them to a level of near perfection. That’s me. What’s not me is delegation but this is my oldest friend and I wanted her to have a beautiful wedding. I set up chairs, I arranged unity candles, centerpieces, I created the check-in table, I put up bows around a tent to add some prettiness, I helped her get dressed, do her make-up, carried her train around for the next 3 hours, posed for pictures (I look awful!), helped baby sit, made a toast (it went over wonderfully!) and when I finally got a moment to myself it was 1030pm. The day had begun at 8am. Sigh. It was a beautiful ceremony and the bride was gorgeous and she cried and he cried. I cried. It was lovely. But again: if I am ever asked the answer will be sure- let’s go away somewhere because I WILL NOT have a ceremony, I WILL NOT go through all those details and I WILL NOT have a maid of honor. Whew.
I really have nothing else to report. I’ve had my ups and downs, much like the mercury here lately – which I can’t stand, by the way. I moved to Oregon for moderation.
Me and the guy and doing pretty well. I’ve surprised myself – I am capable of loving another human being. Well, I mean, it only took 30 years to get to a good place with myself, I suppose it was inevitable that I’d meet someone. Ha ha! What a crock! I used to wail, on my knees and cry to heavens above: WHY HAVE YOU FORESAKEN ME?! AM I MEANT TO BE FOREVER SINGLE?! And then, I just didn’t care anymore. After years of tears and pleading with God, one day I just did not care about my relationship status. Then a month later, I went out with him. Then I fell. Hard. And here I am. Trippy!
That’s my new favorite expression.
I have no reviews. I’ve only seen: X-Men, Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire, The Break Up and that’s it. Strange, huh?
Off to the theatre…well not really. Help?
I’ve seen a few movies in the last month; not nearly at the rate I used to but I suppose being in a relationship does take away all the free movie-watching time. Sigh. I really can’t complain; the time has been taken up with other things like kissing. Lots and lots of kissing. But enough about that part of me.
The biggest thing I suppose I’ve done was be the maid of honor in my oldest friend’s wedding. That was trippy! We’ve been friends since we were twelve and I don’t mind telling you – I doubt I’ll ever be in anyone else’s wedding but my own (!). The week of the wedding was an interesting one, frought with all the emotion you hear about that comes with wedding planning: angst, frustration, sweat (literally!), joy, laughter, tears (of both sadness and happiness), grief, etc.
I first got to NC on 5/31. Her mom put all of us up in the nice, no NICE, lake house on Lake Lure. Those who don’t know it – it’s near the famous Chimney Rock, NC. If you don’t know Chimney Rock then how about this: it’s about 45 minutes west of Asheville, NC. If you don’t know Asheville, well, then I just feel sorry for you. Moving on…I had a pretty good time there! I ate way too healthily to be on vacation as the groom to be and his brother were master grillers and they like veggies, unlike myself. The groom’s parents came with his brother all the way from Japan. I liked his mom a lot! She didn’t speak much English but she really communicated, out of everyone, in my opinion, the true essence of preparing for a marriage. She was very helpful doing any and everything to help out. She was always smiling and laughing. She was just the best! The father was a little grumpy but still nice. The brother was really cute and nerdy in a Japanese way. I don’t know if that translates to anyone but me but…that’s my opinion. So while there I also took my first turn at kayaking. I loved it! Honestly, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to fit into the boat. I’ve got body issues, no doubt. Anyway, I hope that I get to do that again cuz it was fuuuun! Otherwise, I got to swim in a lake, something I hadn’t done in years. Pretty much, that was it. Calm the bride-to-be, you know? The usual.
We stayed there until 6/2 and then we moved into a Bed and Breakfast in Tryon, NC which wasn’t very far from the original place. Well, this is where my misadventures began. The first on the agenda was to get the pedicures. The bride’s mother is a great woman, truly, she’s very nice and generous. However, were I to give her a diagnosis (as I am wont to do) I would definitely say generalized anxiety disorder and maybe a bit of intermittent explosive disorder. Yep. So I was organized maid of honor and made reservations at a place. Ok, first, I live in Oregon – I know jack shit about the facilities in Tryon, NC. So, it’s a small town. Small town. There’s one person who can do pedicures. It’s $40/person (smalllllll town!) and it’s my treat for me, the mother, the bride to be. Well, of course, we got lost on the way there. We find it and the pedicurist is freaking out because she has a hair appointment coming in an hour and a half. The situation only got uglier. The mom decided not to. Then she decided she would. Then she decided she wouldn’t right then but she’d come back. Whatever. It was the WORST pedicure I’ve ever had. Horrible! We just left. Oh, and the mom never got hers. Whatever.
Meanwhile, back at ‘God if he ever asks me to marry him I will elope because I’ll never go through this myself’ wedding prep. at the Inn – room assignments are given. Luckily, my sister came and was my rock for the next 18 hours (she only stayed that long because she could not tolerate the mother) and we were put in a cottage with the bride to be. It was gorgeous and I loved it. I shared a bed with the bride to be and got my hair done by my sister.
The day of had to have been one of the most nerve wracking days of my life. I had prepared a list of what to do and who was doing it. I was in charge. Did I mention that I know full well that I am NOT a leader? I am not ashamed of this. I prefer being given tasks and doing them to a level of near perfection. That’s me. What’s not me is delegation but this is my oldest friend and I wanted her to have a beautiful wedding. I set up chairs, I arranged unity candles, centerpieces, I created the check-in table, I put up bows around a tent to add some prettiness, I helped her get dressed, do her make-up, carried her train around for the next 3 hours, posed for pictures (I look awful!), helped baby sit, made a toast (it went over wonderfully!) and when I finally got a moment to myself it was 1030pm. The day had begun at 8am. Sigh. It was a beautiful ceremony and the bride was gorgeous and she cried and he cried. I cried. It was lovely. But again: if I am ever asked the answer will be sure- let’s go away somewhere because I WILL NOT have a ceremony, I WILL NOT go through all those details and I WILL NOT have a maid of honor. Whew.
I really have nothing else to report. I’ve had my ups and downs, much like the mercury here lately – which I can’t stand, by the way. I moved to Oregon for moderation.
Me and the guy and doing pretty well. I’ve surprised myself – I am capable of loving another human being. Well, I mean, it only took 30 years to get to a good place with myself, I suppose it was inevitable that I’d meet someone. Ha ha! What a crock! I used to wail, on my knees and cry to heavens above: WHY HAVE YOU FORESAKEN ME?! AM I MEANT TO BE FOREVER SINGLE?! And then, I just didn’t care anymore. After years of tears and pleading with God, one day I just did not care about my relationship status. Then a month later, I went out with him. Then I fell. Hard. And here I am. Trippy!
That’s my new favorite expression.
I have no reviews. I’ve only seen: X-Men, Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire, The Break Up and that’s it. Strange, huh?
Off to the theatre…well not really. Help?
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