what a difference a fortnight makes

i have been horrible in keeping my promise of updating four times weekly. i've become caught up in...i'm not sure exactly what yet i feel my life has changed in a few ways. i often feel that my emotions are going haywire. i hesitate to write this entry because i feel as if i shouldn't feel this overwhelmed but i have to focus on the truth. the truth of my situation is that i have not been involved with anyone in over five years. yep, FIVE. i have had some serious issues in relating to people. what's happened to me recently, recently meaning within these same five years, is that i've done a lot of internal digging. i had to dig up a lot of past hurt...i mean i won't go into it but only to say the work has greatly lessened the pain and it has now allowed me to be more open.

due to said openness, i now find myself getting to know someone who, in just under a month, has challenged me on these previous issues and not in the negative way. he's presented himself to be caring and honest. above all else, i feel respected. this is so new and odd for me so i'm not going to push it and really what can i know in 3 weeks? i do know that i also don't want to do the whole, "i'm gonna hold back and not talk because that'll ruin it" thing either. i suppose i see that as a fault. basically, i just had to type of all this out because if i don't...there may be nasty pieces to pick up. eewww!

well, that was a whole lot of something! phew..i feel better.

OK catch up time: what else, what else? i had a hell of a weekend. my oldest friend came from california and stayed with me until monday morning. i love her dearly. it was such a good time. i like that i can have friends whom i maybe don't speak to for months but when i do see them it's just like picking up where we left off. it's wonderful. so we went to game night and played a good few rounds of taboo. i f'ing love that game! the next day was brunch at k's. the last one. sniff. stephanie schneiderman was so good. i feel i misspelled her name. my bad. anyway, what a great combo of music + food. yum! then i dragged her to mill end to get some more yarn but she loved it and bought a bunch of beads and stuff for her wedding favors so we went home and were crafty and yelling about ncaa basketball. then we went to mt. tabor and as i said yesterday, "we hiked the fuck out that park!" i was in pain. then i took her to dinner at tin shed. what can i say about tin shed other than i love it? i truly think i love that restaurant as much as i do some of my relatives. don't tell. then we just hung out. we can talk forever. then i woke up and took her to the airport at 4:30am. so that plus the talking meant very little sleep for me. not to mention the emotional roller coaster i've been on. so, yeah, it was a good week. i look forward to sleeping it off though. whew!