happy birthday to me!

Today I turned 30 years old. Big whoop, right? Well, sort of. If I am to be completely honest, I never even imagined this day would occur. I had something of a death wish when I was younger. When I grew out of that phase, I just had more of a passive way of trying to kill myself. ~Shudder~. Anyway, I’ve come to embrace life, somewhat and honestly…life is good. Life is very good. No doubt I need more money, more time, less flab, less hair in inappropriate places but I’m breathing. Never thought I’d consider that a good thing. Anyway, I’m not making the point I wanted to make: This day did not exactly turn out as expected.

Most first days of the month I check out http://www.astrologyzone.com for my monthly astrological forecast from Susan Miller. I also love the first of September because it signifies the coming of cooler weather and, of course, my birthday. This month’s forecast wiped the smile from my joyful face. It seems the month will be challenging with my relationship, work, everything practically. This part, in particular, just sucked:

You will begin to feel tensions mount the moment September begins. In the United States, the Labor Day weekend will begin on the afternoon / evening of September 1 and continue for a few days. It will not likely be a smooth weekend.
First, on September 3, Mercury, your ruler, will oppose Uranus, bringing some sort of argument or adverse news from your partner. Mercury is a highly sensitive planet, so your nerves will be strained. Travel will be difficult, and anything pertaining to your career is likely to show a sudden setback. There won't be much you can do about what comes up, so take the attitude of listener, and see if you can respond later

Why on my birthday must Mercury oppose Uranus?? Well, in review, I can say that it was a highly sensitive day. I spent most of it with Mr. J. He had proposed taking me to the state fair. How cute! I had mentioned wanting to go because, despite living in the capital of NC for about 5 years, I’ve never been to one. What happened though was nothing as he planned. I had bought a kitchen table from craigslist and picked up the chairs and was hoping that he would help me get the table since he has a pick-up. Well, the rest of the story is convoluted but what happened was this: he helped me get the table, we wound up in Oaks Park (small amusement park here in Portland), went shopping at Best Buy, had dinner at Chang’s and pie at Shari’s. We were both so exhausted that we called it a night at 9pm. I am getting older.

There was little strain between the boy and I but there was little else there as well. That’s a loaded statement, I suppose, that I don’t know how to explain. Susan Miller said:

"Relationships of all kinds have a certain inner life or timetable of their own. Sometimes no matter what we do, we cannot lengthen the life of a relationship. It takes two to tango, so it is not completely up to you. You knew that intellectually, of course, but you may not have believed that emotionally. Intellect and emotion will now be joined, and it is anyone's guess how things will eventually play out. There is no "destiny" here. As a couple or as business partners, you may sail through this month, or the eclipse may blow the roof off your relationship. Admittedly, everyone, even those with strong relationships, will feel some strain, particularly if born near September 7.
We always assume that our career, money, friends, family, romantic partner, health, and so forth are separate. We carefully partition them into separate little boxes. Yet it sometimes takes an eclipse to show us that all these elements are interconnected into a larger whole. You will soon see that if you change one of those elements, you will have dynamically changed all the rest.
There is no doubt that your partner is about to take a shocking, unpredictable action (or reveal something that will bring out this type of reaction in you), but his or her timing might be a bit off. Ancient astrologers warned never to make demands when the other person - in this case, you - currently has Mars in his or her sign. That's precisely where Mars is now - in Virgo - and this will give you confidence and powerful drive. Suddenly you won't be content to sit back and internalize hurts, but rather you'll speak up and boldly defend yourself. With Venus, the Sun, Mercury, and Mars in your sign, you are likely to win. Birthday time is a good time for you, because the Sun is always back to where it was when you were born. You will feel its soothing warmth from others.
A breakup is not inevitable if your relationship is basically sound - you are about to find out. The period of September 3 - 7 will be the most difficult of the year. Think back to discussions that you had at the last eclipse, near March 14. Something that came up then may now be discussed in a different way, advancing talks to a new level."

I know that’s long but it really made me stop and think. Now, I find astrology very entertaining and even somewhat helpful at times but I do not put my faith into. I do, however, listen to all kinds of advice and I have made it a habit to overanalyze – it used to be a favorite hobby. Not so much anymore but sometimes I slip.

I’m just hoping the ‘wiser’ part of being older holds true.